i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
Randomize
