Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
The funny thing about my wife cheating on me is that the guy probably has genital warts now. Sweet.
I heard you threw up in your lap?
I heard that too.
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
It's very disconcerting to wake up and she is gone. I never know where she could be. It's like playing wheres Waldo but Waldo could potentially be drunk and wandering around in weird places that normal Waldo's don't go.
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
Randomize
