You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
God, you're amazing. I just want to hang out with you in the nude and watch Monty Python movies whilst we quip about how comedians just aren't as funny anymore.
Credit for originality. Points off for a mild to moderate creepy factor.
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
A million fucking miles away, and the sun still manages to fuck my hungover mornings up.
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
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