Why are there so many empty soda cans in my room?
You put them in a circle around your bed and said it was the best way to ward of the witches from hocus pocus....then you remembered you needed salt too. I'm assuming you havent gone to the bathroom yet.
My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
my being single is dangerous.
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
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