dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
Apparently telling a group of crying girls that it looks like they need a visit from Dr. Phil isn't the best pickup line.
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
Her stepmother interrupted our sex to tell her it was midnight and she wanted to do a sympathy shot for her 50th.
Don't break up.
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
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