You're my little dorito
this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
So... I sharted on the plane. It was hard to maintain my composure and acted offended at the same time. I hate you for not cutting me off last night.
Randomize
