got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
i got pulled over completely sober but looking like death. dick cop made me do a field sobriety test. he also said "no sober person could have 7 BK bags"
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
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