his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
We legitimately thought something was wrong with you until someone pointed out you were just doing the thriller dance
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
Randomize
