you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
It says a lot about the way my life is going right now that 'there's no shit in your house' is fucking good news.
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
Randomize
