I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
Just talked a homeless guy out of suicide. Was rewarded with a garbage bag full of mountain dew bottles and zannies. Im such a good person
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
Randomize