I was 10 minutes late leaving for lunch today because I couldn't lose a boner. It is impossible to tuck it when your shirt is tucked in...gotta quit facebook stalking hot chicks at work
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
She gave me a handjob at the dinner table while her dad was carving the turkey. I made eye contact with him. Im pretty sure he knew.
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
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