Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
she smelled like a LAN party
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
You insisted on squirting shots of captain morgan in your mouth with a turkey baster by like 930.
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
Stop calling my penis "Fat Jesus"
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
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