Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
Oh thank Jesus fuck for my shitty infertile womb. Crisis averted
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
There is a guy down by the river wearing a zebra print speedo and a sombrero, with a beer in each hand, screaming "This is America bitches!"
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
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