no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
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