Do I have a sign around my neck that says "SWM desperately seeking ultra-plus-size woman that likes everything I do"? I swear they're organized
No, but you do have a sign around your neck that says "Free cupcakes."
i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
Omg my butt feels so much better. Those suppositories are magic. It feels like Jesus fingered me in my sleep.
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Randomize
