Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
i woke up to something itchy on my head. it was his mustache. he fell asleep face-plant style on the side of my head. WTF?
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
Randomize
