No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
Hurricane my ass. I'm riding a god damn kayak down the flooded highway if it's the last god damn thing I do, god damnit.
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
Moment of the day: as we leave the restaurant, she reaches into my pocket, pulls out her panties, and angrily marches to her car. I felt like a sketchy magician.
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
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