And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
She face-timed me on the toilet. My dick is never going to recover from that.
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
Just got offered cocaine at ihop. Stay classy America.
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Randomize