Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
I wish there were whore gnomes that cleaned our apartment when we were gone.
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
Sometimes I'm jealous of turtles because they can just go to their homes whenever they want by putting their heads in their bodies.
How high are you?
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
Randomize