ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
Somewhere in this world my second husband is in 9th grade.
did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
I feel like death gave me a hand job
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
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