i just realized Britney Spears and I are more alike than I thought. Both of us have our parents in complete control of our lives, we both have restraining orders on previous boyfriends, and we all know both of us can put on a hell of a show
I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
i just wanna skin you and wear you like last years versace.
you may have the big hair, fake nails, and talk with a fake accent, but you will NEVER be a housewife from new jersey so STOP TRYING.
my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
Randomize
