Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.
sound pretty economical
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
This is the I'm sorry text for running around yelling don't shit on my rainbow, end up in the fetal position crying at 4 am in my car because someone shit on my rainbow
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
Randomize
