I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
She flashed them and they let her pay with Monopoly money. I'm married, so it is your obligation as my best man to repeatedly fuck her for me
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
Randomize
