it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
I literally have been drunk for three days entirely by myself, the world cup may kill me
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
Randomize
