..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
some girl just asked me if I was that guy that hooked up with nine girls in one night. officially a local celebrity. gonna try and autograph her boobs.
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
I just tried to text you by typing "whoa" into my contacts.
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
My boss's toddler just went through my bag and found your vibrator...you owe me a drink.
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