tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
Rubbed one out while on hold to buy tickets to Disneyland. Feel simultaneously like a freak and strangely productive.
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
My girlfriend is so strong now. Like on the one hand its kind of hot because she can pin me down during sex, but on the other hand she picked me up and carried me bridal style at the company bbq.
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
Where are you guys?
Drunk
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
Randomize
