she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
Drunk me is having trouble keeping up with sober me's standards
Randomize
