I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
Just got the test results back; apparently I'm red-green colorblind. this explains the past 18 years of my life and i'm wondering why i didn't realize this sooner
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
Randomize