sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
Randomize
