Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
I just handed the barista at Starbucks a panty liner instead of my card....maybe I should upgrade this Tall to a Venti...
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
Randomize
