Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
We told you to stay put for 2 minutes. We come back out and your being handcuffed yelling "DO YOU FEEL LIKE A GOOD FUCKING PERSON ARRESTING ME ON MY BIRTHDAY?!"
In preparation for st patty's day I finally had a shamrock shake, and I invested in an app that will apparently keep me from drunkenly texting you pictures of my tits this weekend. Please let me know if you want to not be put on the "forbidden" list!
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
I fucking love your mom. She's so drunk and fully functional. I aspire to be her one day.
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
The perfect man would keep a whisky sour in my hand and give me endless sex. I really don't think that's too much to ask for.
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
Randomize
