I think scott just propositioned me for sex
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair.
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
Dude my body has gone into shock from not eating frozen pizza and chips. I've been shitting like Richard Simmons after a night out of twerking in a corn field
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
Your birthday is now over. Your day in the spotlight has dimmed and now you're as special as everyone else. The world goes back to revolving around me. Good night.
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
Randomize
