sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
I'M GETTING MARRIED!
YOU'RE STILL MARRIED!
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
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