And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
You are two creepy Justin Bieber quotes away from me not talking to you for the rest of the day
If I had a pelvic thrust emoticon, I would use it
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
I know her cup size but not her name....
Randomize
