8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
You know what's worse than asking for the morning after pill? Asking for the morning after pill in a sketchy hospital in a foreign country where no one speaks English.
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
Randomize
