Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
It's 4/20 and I spent the morning in the gym and am working later tonight. I don't even have any weed. Why am I adult-ing again?
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
Your babysitter texted, wants me to pay with weed. I don't know where to get any & don't want to. Will she take cigarettes instead? Or um, cash? Like a person?
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
Randomize
