8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
I'm too hungover for some lady to talk to me about potatoes
I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
Randomize
