I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
Uggh answer your phone, you are the only one I know who'll be proud of what I woke up next to this morning .
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
Randomize