Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
Randomize