Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
I swear I was in Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess and American Ninja Warrior at the same time. I'm never getting high while rock climbing again.
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
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