At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
Why did you leave me a note saying 'find the canary'
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
As if me making pizza in a skillet wasn't enough proof that I was in no state to be cooking, this burn blister on my hand is
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
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