I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
You called me your momma bear, and then demanded more vodka
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
Randomize
