her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
This German chick looked me up and down for a while. Then she grabbed my crotch, let go after a few seconds, and said "you vill do". I think I'm gonna like tonight.
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
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