you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
Randomize
