i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
That's just a really flattering way of saying, "Yes, you're useless, but you have great tits."
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
I just woke up, dressed as Chris Brown, with a bunless hot dog (presumably from 7/11) in my pocket, wearing a pair of shoes I don't recognize as my own. Help.
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
Randomize
