she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
Random memory from the wedding, the bartender showed us how to open the windows and piss out of them.
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
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