Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
Santa brought me a 1.75 of wine, and a liter of patron. I probably won't remember Christmas, so don't ask me how it was tomorrow.
Remember that time I sent you a 5lb bag of gummie bears?
Like it was yesterday.
Apparently I had it on auto deliver. So whoever is at your apt is gonna gen an interesting delivery...
I made that picture of you my lock screen. So I've just been standing around at work licking my phone all day.
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
My mom legitimately hired a private eye on me. DO YOU KNOW HOW EXCITING MY LIFE JUST GOT???
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
I just sugar scrubbed my vagina. If I don't get laid tonight, me and the universe are gonna have some problems.
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
Randomize