She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
A hard boiled egg and a shot of tequila is not brunch.
Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
Yeah, reverse cow girl. She was on top and I was playing Flappy Bird behind her back. Easiest way to have angry sex.
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
Look I'm really hungover so let's try this again. In 5 mins you're gonna call me and tell me that you're on your way with xannies, iced coffee and a back rub
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize
