i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
I woke up and found a stick of butter in my pocket. There's no butter in the house so I don't know who's it is. Using it to make cookies.
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
Didn't know where your dishes went. Put em in the bathtub. They're stacked taller than you. It's like modern art.
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
Randomize
