it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
Amazing how you can get from "Merry Christmas" to sex in three texts.
I could have done it in 2
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
Randomize
