What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
So I have to send you an email about my weekend, heretofore referred to as The Perfect Weekend. Wherein I have lots of awesome sex with a guy with THE MOST AMAZING BODY.
I look forward to this email. I will respond with, Condoms and Creepers: The Adventures of Online Dating.
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
OHMYGOD YOU REALLY THINK I'D BE ON OPRAH?!
Randomize
