he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
Fuck appropriateness.
Just got my period. I'm not pregnant with Scott's child and I won't be having any sex tonight. This must be what they mean by bittersweet.
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
Some girls wake up to good morning texts. I wake up to pictures of an angry Shrek getting a blowjob.
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
Randomize