he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
Do you think it's a bad sign of the outcome of the pregnancy test I'm about to take that I was eating a fudgsicle on the way into the drugstore? Would it make worse to tell you I also bought a big ass bag of Cornnuts?
Randomize
