If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
you know what scares the shit out of me? i have eaten bagel bites since i was a little kid and just in the past five years they started puting "made with real cheese" WHAT THE FUCK WERE THEY USING BEFORE? i mean ive been a bagel biter since the womb
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
Did I show you my penis last night?
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning...
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
He seemed genuinely disappointed when I told him I wasn't going to make out with him to Bring Me To Life by Evanescence so I feel like I've pinpointed the breaking point of this relationship
Woke up, bank account is empty. Sock is still full of blood. Nothing in my pockets but a wireless mic and jenga pieces.
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
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