goodnight i made you a song goodbye
He uses pillows to masturbate.
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
I'm off the liquor
You're forefathers are ashamed of you. They didn't struggle to make it to America so that you could become a soft dick
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
Randomize
