why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
I'm officially my mother.. Smoking in the garage pretending to take the dog out in a big ugly jacket
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
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