She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
He brought a girl home so fat he called me before they got home to unlock the right side of the French doors
Fuck he won the bet
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
So I just watched a seagul attack my boss and steal his food in the parking lot. Today might not be a bad day lmfao.
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
I just got through airport security with 5 grams of weed in my back pocket. Either I deserve a metal or the government is slacking
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
Randomize
