you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
Randomize