is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
Don't park in the garage. I installed a stripper pole while drunk and it's kinda in the way
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
Randomize
