don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
I literally paid him in shots to clean my entire apartment. he even vacuumed...who said alcoholism is a bad thing??
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
Wait. Did you let me snort wine last night cause I wanted to smell jesus's blood?
Yes. I have pictures. Your soul is mine.
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
Okay so it turns out that my bf keeps a log of every time I sleep-fart. It's dated back to 2013.
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
Randomize