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  • But this isn't a lake, and I'm not a duck. So pass me the bottle and stfu. =]

    Submitted by Saibot on Dec 5, 10 at 1:28pm
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  • Dr. Seuss?

    Submitted by mmmboy_80085 on Dec 5, 10 at 6:00pm
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  • if water was vodka and i was a duck id swim to the bottom and never come up but waters not vodka and i'm not a duck so give me the bottle and shut the fuck up

    Submitted by stufflikepeace on Dec 5, 10 at 1:34pm
    168 153
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  • congratulations on getting the subjunctive right!

    Submitted by jltc on Dec 5, 10 at 2:52pm
    154 132
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    • actually, they didn't. if it were correct, it would say "if water were vodka"\n\ni'm not a pretentious ass, really, i'm just saying

      Submitted by moho on Dec 5, 10 at 3:12pm
      130 122
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      • actually, the subjunctive part was correct. you didn't correct the subjunctive, you just changed what they were talking about from "this" to "water" and "a lake full of vodka" to just "vodka".

        Submitted by quwoosh on Dec 5, 10 at 7:46pm
        105 114
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  • a fucking poet!

    Submitted by shitjustgotreal on Dec 5, 10 at 1:21pm
    145 116
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  • Just give me the vodka.

    Submitted by soko on Dec 5, 10 at 2:17pm
    122 100
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  • If the river was whiskey by TC Boyle??

    Submitted by RoRo4324 on Dec 9, 10 at 10:15pm
    127 119
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  • I heard this in a diff way like 9 years ago

    Submitted by stnrgrlk46290 on Feb 25, 11 at 3:28am
    144 159
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  • and I'd lit a match and blow you the fuck up.

    Submitted by nerdout270 on Dec 6, 10 at 5:05am
    103 102
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  • Why do you have to be a duck?

    Submitted by exoduster on Dec 7, 10 at 2:07am
    101 118
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  • Half of these texts are actually quotes from a website called bash.org

    Submitted by tizzy on Dec 6, 10 at 12:01pm
    90 162
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