i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
Less talking, more tequila
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
Meeting his dad and brother for the first time at the jail while I'm bailing him out ISN'T exactly how I pictured this relationship going....
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
Randomize
