what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
I just realized that my phone was set to Brazilian time...what the fuck happened last night
I want to celebrate with you...
There's nothing I'd like more than a celebratory "The guy I'm doing just found out he's not a baby daddy" dinner.
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
Boobs speak an international language.
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
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