Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
My mom is pretending to be Paula Deen while making breakfast...I'm pretty sure she's sober.
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
Randomize
