You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
My vag should have a twitter account. It would be like "destroyed another condom today".
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
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