? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
the hot woman interviewing me is reading jokes off the back of laffy taffy.... I'm getting laid and possibly a job
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
Something like; Dear Cupid, when are you going to send me someone to date that isn't a complete psychopath
Randomize
