alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
You know that episode of Spongebob where Patrick teaches Spongebob to be fancy? His dick was like that, only fancier.
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
Randomize
