fml, blew my nose and red sprinkles came out and did the splits when i sneezed
Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
Dude. Photoshop a Santa hat on your mug shot and send it as your Christmas cards.
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
Randomize
