My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
Speeding home on my break at work because I forgot to grab my Percocets that I have because getting through work sober's too hard
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
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